I've been meaning to update for quite some time now and I keep crawling back here every once in a while. The truth is I have a secret project going and it's been so hard to stay quiet about it I've felt really ambitious about it.

Now it feels like I'm falling apart. It's like every day something painful happens and it's destroying my happiness. I'm at the end of my rope. I can't take anymore, I literally feel like jumping off the overpass so that I wouldn't have to wake up the next morning and face something else that wants to hurt me. I've kept a brave face in front of my friends and acted like it never bothered me but the truth is I'm tired of treading water. It's like the things that make me happy keep disappearing.

What am I going to do? How is this going to affect my secret project? I'm at the end here, I can't fight anymore.

My family is falling apart, my social life is falling apart, my love life is falling apart and my health is deteriorating and I don't have a job.

I can't eat, I can't sleep and I can't concentrate on anything.

My world is small and it's getting smaller every day